Spenserian Stanza

I’ve been looking through my room in an effort to de-clutter and clean up and found this poem the process. I took a class on Spenser’s The Faerie Queene in my last year of university and as part of the class we had to give a presentation on a certain part of it and write a Spenserian Stanza.

My presentation was on the character of Belphoebe (she was also the topic for a longer essay I wrote later in the class) and this two stanza poem is what I came up with as my Spenser imitation. I haven’t read it since I wrote it in 2013 but it’s actually quite nice (the last line just doesn’t quite sit right with me but that’s ok). In any case, I hope you enjoy my attempt at channeling Spenser!

 

This Night Will Become Day (April 26, 2013)

Upon this night I walk through forests wide,

Looking for a glade in which I can rest,

I can see above me the moon I spied

Choked and wrapped around with pest

The clouds, fierce and grey. They have got the best

Of that poor moon and strangle it to death.

The light fades into everlasting rest

No more will it wax or wane, nor take breath

For now the skies above have darkened more than death.

 

But tomorrow shall once again see sun.

I know when I wake I will find the glade

Cool and fresher than a breeze having fun

Skipping on all the petals in the shade.

They glisten and shine as if they are made

Of clearest glass or crystal of the sea

Swaying left and right like a May parade.

As free and calm as them I wish to be

One everlasting motion. I’ll be just as free.

 

Meanwhile

***

Meanwhile

I’ll grow to resent you. That’s what some people have told me.

Meanwhile though, take my hand.

I’ll start to hate the things about you that I used to love. Like your charm; that same quality that led you to me might also lead you astray. If not astray then perhaps you’ll just offer your charms elsewhere as I watch. It was your bait and it might be my bane.

Meanwhile though, kiss my neck.

With time I’ll notice things about you that I’d been blind to before, might find little ugly or irritating things that my mind will magnify so that they’ll eventually be all that I can see.

Meanwhile though, open my blouse.

Your hands and fingers that I love now, whose touch I crave and need, will someday hold me captive. The warm embrace of your arms will fade and feel like a cold prison cell, guaranteeing my safety through captivity instead of comfort.

Meanwhile though, lay me down.

One day I’ll start to hate the way you eat your food and I’ll stop eating the leftover bits on your plate, the bits you didn’t finish, the ones that would otherwise be wasted down the sink.

Meanwhile though, whisper in my ear and sigh in my hair.

In the future I’ll begin to loathe your smell and the way it clings to your clothes and marks everywhere you’ve been. There won’t be anyplace I can go where I couldn’t sense your presence even in your absence.

Meanwhile though, I’ll relish your scent on my skin like perfume.

In a while from now I might wish you would disappear, that I’d never see you again, that I could erase you from my mind, forget the sound of your voice, and pretend that you never existed.

Meanwhile though, drive safe and promise me you’ll come again soon.

One day in the future I may wonder where you are and who you’re with. I’ll wonder who I missed out on because I was blinded by you. I’ll entertain thoughts and dreams I’d long forgotten and hate you for tying me down and keeping me from reaching them, no matter if it was your fault or not.

Meanwhile though, let yourself into my empty room, sit on the edge of my bed, and anticipate my arrival.

Your hair and mine will eventually turn grey or silver, depending on our mood, and we will look back at what we’ve done together. I’ll wish you’d have been a bit different. You’ll wish I’d been a bit different too. We’ll wish some things had been different for the pair of us.

Meanwhile though, I’ll rush to meet you and fall into your arms once more.

Someday I’ll know you so well that I can anticipate what you’ll do and say and I’ll be bored. There will be little left that you can do to surprise or excite me. I’ll wonder why you add salt to foods you’ve not yet tasted and I’ll be annoyed. I might give you a look that you’ll roll your eyes at and I’ll stare out the window instead of looking at you.

Meanwhile though, I’ll forget all that; I’ll walk to you slowly, determinedly, and say “I do” with utter confidence.

***

Love

Love

You needed no words
You simply welcomed me
With open arms
Into an embrace
Warmer and safer
Than anything
I’ve ever known

Your silence allowed me
To just be me
Allowed me
To express
Myself
Without a filter or fear

I needed
No pretense
As the tears came
You offered me
Your shoulder
Your shirt
You let me hide
In the crook of your neck

You calmed me
Not with words
But by your
Tender touch
The steady stroke
Of your gentle hands
On my hair
On my back

You soothed me
Until my heart
Beat
With a regular rhythm
And understood
When my composure broke
Again

You were patient
You were kind

You gave me a space
To bare my soul
Empty
Myself
Of my pain
So I had a chance
To fill myself with
Something new
Again

Exciting News!

In my last posting I mentioned my idea and plan for “Kaleidoscope I” and so on. Since then I have actually composed a collection that feels complete. It contains 35 of my prose poems, freshly edited and rearranged in an order that flows nicely. Previously I’d had them all in chronological order but that was mainly for my own records to see how my writing had developed from the beginning of the year to now. I’ve been working on “Kaleidoscope I: Anything But True Love” like mad the past week because I had a deadline to meet.

The Walt Whitman Award for poetry, offered through the Academy of American Poets, was accepting submissions until October 31, 2015 for a writer’s first collection of poetry (any style, any subject, between 48-100 pages of original, unpublished work). It’s a big award with a big prize as well— there’s a monetary element, an artist’s retreat to Italy and publication of the book by Graywolf Press. I needed the push of a deadline to get me to finish my collection and I am very happy with what I entered into the competition.

Now begins the hard part: the waiting game… The winner will be announced on April 30, 2016 so if the judge likes my work and with a bit of luck I might get a nice belated birthday surprise next year.

Here’s hoping!

It’s been much too long…

I almost feel like I need to reintroduce myself since I’ve been away from here for so long. Funny enough, I had two posts in the works before now but I never got around to actually posting them. I probably will do that soon (after making some time-related edits).

Likewise I’ve actually had a little burst of satisfying creative energy recently that produced a few new prose poems that I quite like. I also came up with a new and improved plan about how I wish to go about publishing my collection of prose poems once I am satisfied with the composition.

Here’s a little glimpse into my mind and thoughts as of late:

My initial plan was to have a collection of fifty prose poems/vignettes/impressions. I started writing them in January of this year and currently have about eighty to choose from, some of which I like more than others (naturally– those ones I’m not quite happy with just need some polish or in some cases must be sanded down, buffed, and then polished, but they’ll all get there eventually). In May I had about thirty done and I decided that I wanted fifty by July 20. I was proud to reach this goal sooner than planned, but then I figured I should have more than fifty so that I can choose the best from my stock for the final planned collection.

I can’t remember exactly how I came to the word “kaleidoscope,” but I thought it would be a great title for a collection of poems so I decided to use it as mine. It’s suitable also since my poems range in topics/themes and, taken together, create an image of life in general through the various emotions or moods that they capture. Life is full of shifting patterns of light, moments that are fleeting and may never be recaptured no matter how hard someone tries. Similarly a kaleidoscope shows beautiful patterns that are (near) impossible to recreate—it’s about enjoying what someone has in the moment they have it and recognizing beauty when it presents itself rather than in hindsight.

Though I wanted to submit the collection or pitch the idea to publishers earlier this year, sometime closer to July, I didn’t. The truth is that I wasn’t entirely happy with what I had. Isn’t that often the trouble? I don’t want to offer something to someone else that I am not satisfied with completely myself. It’s not that I wasn’t proud of my work, but I knew it could be better. Truth is the collection as it was felt a little messy– I was trying to cover too much and it made it feel disjointed rather than complete.

What I needed was a theme. Seems simple enough, right, elementary even? I agree. I should have perhaps had a guiding theme to start out with, but to be honest I am actually glad I didn’t have one before as it kept me from writing to an agenda; I didn’t limit myself in topic or what I wanted to or could say. I never thought to myself that what I was writing was somehow “a waste of time” just because it didn’t further my intended goal or fit into my current plan, so I just wrote and wrote and ended up with poems/vignettes that span a range of topics. True that taken all together they seem jumbled, but when I took the time to examine each one to determine what its main idea or emotion or theme is, I ended up with the seeds for several collections in one and this realization gave me an even better idea for my plan of action.

My original plan was a bit too ambitious, or rather it was too grand— or in some ways not really a plan— because it lacked clear definition. I needed to focus my goal in order to achieve it successfully. I was lucky enough to see Idina Menzel live recently and as part of her show she performed “Love for Sale” in which she sings the line “anything but true love.” I can’t explain exactly why that line stuck out to me, but it did and I am happy about that because it, in conjunction with my closer examination of my work, helped me with developing my poem collection.

I intend to keep “Kaleidoscope” as part of my title, but now I plan to call my first collection “Kaleidoscope I: Anything but True Love.” In doing this I narrowed the scope of my work to the theme of love and relationships while keeping the option open to have subsequent collections for other themes. Likewise, my original idea to have my poems cover a wide variety of emotions and situations in life is still intact when taking the entirety of my proposed series together. While I do not know yet which themes exactly I will use for “Kaleidoscope II” and “Kaleidoscope III” (and so on if I can manage to keep it going), I am excited at the prospect and am sure I will come up with something. Until then I will perfect my first part and hopefully it will be met with some success. I can’t wait to announce that it is officially in the works and on its way to publication. The day I get a publication date will be a day to celebrate indeed.

Speak

I wrote this prose poem/impression a week or so ago. This was inspired by a few lines from a Daughter song (again) called “Candles.”

I’ll do whatever you say to me in the dark

…

Well I’ll never be a lover
I only bring the heat
Company under cover
Filling space in your sheets, in your sheets

Below is the piece I wrote called “Speak.” This is the whole thing.

Speak

Your vocabulary is infinite. The words you need are always at your fingertips, ready to generate the desired response. Who taught you this skill? Where did you ever find the time to perfect it to such a degree that no one can resist you?

Speak the words softly to make my body yield to your touch, to coax my lips to let you in. Use the darkness as your cover, a blanket that keeps us safe. Will it protect us, though, will it really? Will we survive the night and live when the morning breaks or will the light dissolve our skin so that we shrivel and crumble like vampires in the sun?

Speak with confidence when I’m in your company. Claim me as yours in a way that makes me a prize but not a possession. Give me just enough power to leave me feeling satisfied rather than dominated.

It’s beautiful how you can turn a phrase. But it’s horrifying how well you manipulate language to your ends. Your charisma shines like the sun, bathing everything in your light and warming everyone within reach. Too much exposure though will lead to being burnt.

Do you recognize me as flesh and bone when I’m beside you? Tell me. How about when I lay naked on my side, my hand on your bare stomach as it rises and falls with each breath? Or when your smell is all that fills my nostrils? Am I a person then or do you see me simply as a placeholder filling space in your sheets— like air— an empty presence meant to be replaced, something present without really being present, emptiness that exists somehow, a space reserved for something— someone— else?

Speak to me.

Let me hear your voice, your eloquent words, the cadence of your speech, the exaltation that is my name when you give it life. Speak to me so I can be lulled to sleep, to unconsciousness, to nonexistence. Hypnotize me so that I experience only what you wish me to. Make me yours in ways no one else has ever been. I will be anything you want— my actions aren’t my own when you write the script— I’m at your mercy. You make me an empty vessel, helpless yet somehow content to be of some use, entirely willing to become something else, something new.

Speak to me with passion in your voice, longing in your eyes, urgency in your touch. Make me feel these things also. Teach me how to always know what to say. Is it satisfying not to have to struggle? Do you feel accomplished winning without ever needing to fight?

Maybe if I stay with you enough I’ll learn your craft, use it to my advantage. But then where would we be? Is it possible for two people to get exactly what they want? I don’t think it is, but  we could try. Prove me otherwise, you’re always right anyway.

Hope you enjoyed. Ciao!

~Ines

Excerpt 1: Autumn Leaves

Here is the first sample of my written work. I am compiling a collection of prose poems at the moment; my goal is 50 successful pieces and I now have almost 60 to choose from. As the title of this post suggests, this excerpt comes from a piece I’ve written that was inspired by the song “Autumn Leaves” by Edith Piaf– a beautiful song. If you haven’t heard it I suggest you check it out.

Enjoy and thank you all for your lovely support so far!

“… I watch the red and golden leaves drift by my window. They dance and twirl on the breeze, ignorant of their fall or indifferent to it. If only you’d have let me down this easily too. I fell like a stone when you let me go, like a stone dropped into the clear, still waters of a lake. I passed from one consciousness to another, falling at two different paces, through two different realities, to face two very different fears. …”

I welcome any and all feedback. I recognize it is hard to give constructive critique on only a small piece of a prose poem, but if you have something to share, please do.

Ciao,

~Ines

The time is NOW!

Hi there anyone and everyone (or no one..?)!

Welcome to my blog and thanks for stopping by. Props to you, you’ve found my first post, yay! 🙂

Hopefully as time goes on you’ll find more interesting stuff here than a simple intro, but as this is the beginning I reserve the right to take a little time to figure things out and introduce myself. So, without further ado, here goes!

I’m Ines and I am an aspiring writer– surprise! I’ve thought about starting a blog for a while now but somehow never got around to actually taking any action. I think it is time for that to stop (hence the title of this post and hence this introduction).

My plan is to share my own creative writing and also have moments of what I will call “musings” about something that is on my mind. In a way I will use my blog to “think in ink” (or maybe “think in pixels” would be more appropriate?) and to capture moments or ideas as they come. I will try not to rant about anything– no real good ever comes out of that, does it? However if I find something that I am skeptical or weary of or something that rubs me the wrong way I won’t hesitate to make some sort of note. That being said, I do not intend to focus on that, just be prepared for the occasional critical post.

Who knows, maybe something I post will catch your attention, spark a conversation or otherwise inspire you. I think that is what I really hope to do– inspire. What better thing in life is there than to inspire others to do something they enjoy or to finally take that step they’ve been thinking about but have been too afraid to make on their own? My own work is inspired/informed by the work of others– writers, musicians, artists of any kind– so I hope some of my work can achieve the same effect and response.

But enough for now. I am sure I could go on and on, but that is really not necessary, is it? I would like my subsequent posts to stand on their own and when important or interesting things come up I will post something anyway. No need to say everything all at once, right?

Anywhoo, thanks again for stopping by and hope you’ll stick around and visit again!

Ciao,

Ines